Developing Leaders

In April 2006 I stood on the precipice of the most significant educational accomplishment I had ever dreamed of realizing, a Masters of Science degree.

On a bright hot spring day that month in southern California my wife and I walked the isles of my universities grad fair. How would I commemorate this accomplishment? How would I remember this special time?

Class ring. That’s it, I always wanted to get one, couldn’t afford the undergrad ring, now was the time. I chose carefully selecting what only a Metallurgist would love. A ring made of silver, with palladium and a bit of platinum for good measure. A cool ring. I filled out the paper work, selected the wording, paid the bill and went on my merry way. 

A few weeks later I got the call. You cannot fit your degree name on the side panel you have one too many letters in the name. WHAT?! How could this be! This is my ring! The symbol of overcoming adversity finally kicking the “You cant finish” spectre out of my mind. It has to fit! I want that ring to be perfect. It has to be perfect!

I hung up the phone and called my wife knowing she would understand, she would console me. She knew how important this ring was to me.

What did I hear from my soul mate? “It’s not about you!”

Her words cut me to the bone. After a short pouting moment I began to consider her feedback. I had been acting like a spoiled brat. I was being irrational. It really isn’t about me, she was right. How many times have I counseled leaders about the fact that leadership is about sacrifice and responsibility. “I” doesn’t enter into the equation for a leader. In that moment it hit me. Its not about me, its not about “I”… There is no room for “I” in leadership. I had the perfect solution and from that day on I would have the coolest leadership story engraved on the very ring that commemorated my Masters of Science in Leadership and Management.

You have to check the photo to appreciate the coolness of this story.  You can see them here

Look closely at the side panel you will notice the point I made above and how after 3 years now you might notice how I have worn “lead” almost right off the ring. I wonder how that happened? ;-)

–
Ron

I read a great blog post this morning from an author named Susan Mazza. You can find her at Random Acts of Leadership and on twitter @Susanmazza. It is a great post thoughtful introspective and balanced. I particularly like the questions she poses at the end as a guide to how to handle disagreements. All the listed questions are right on for a growing effective leader. I particularly like the second question as it really attacks our ego.  2. What is at stake here – for me, for the others involved, for the larger commitments this affects – that I would be willing to take a stand for here?You see the ability to see past our own perspective and selfishness toward a vision of whether the point of disagreement has any real consequence is significant. Walk away if the disagreement is over something minor.  There is one other possible question to consider here my only suggested addition to a great post.  What can I do to truly understand where the other person is coming from?    In my estimation this is a critical step to trying to find a win-win answer. When we enter into disagreement with another person over an issue which we believe with conviction that we are right it is a serious risk for our judgment to be clouded. Certainly from our limited perspective we are right. But we must consider how right is our perspective in the first place. Perspective is made up of our experiences and learnings over time. No two people share the same perspective. So when two people look at an identical situation they conclude vastly different things. As leaders our job is to work hard at seeking first to understand the perspective of the other person. When we do we will find that our conviction and righteousness may now seem less clear that it first did.  We may yet find that we are right and they frankly are off their crank. That’s fine but now with the grace and wisdom of a real leader we can choose to correct, influence or simply walk away. Regardless we leave the other person validated, listened to and valued. All the real work of the leader, nurturing  effective relationships to affect change.  lead well Ron